Sunday, February 5, 2012

Chapter 1 of Dracula's Ranunculus:: The Boy Who Could Imagine

Once upon an eon
There was a boy with a crayon
Who gave life to everything he drew on

Once, on paper he drew a butterfly
With sparkling eyes
And periwinkle dots laid out like dies
On a gossamer board, endless folds
Then behold!

The paper crinkled and crackled
And then the speckled
Butterfly flew out on a route
Of circles, whirls, and twirls
Barrel rolls and loop-di-loops
Until finally it was pooped

So it drifted down
Like sifted sand
'Til on the paper it did land
And thus began
The boy's plan
To always wear a helmet
In case he drew a ram

-Neil Abellansoa

Monday, November 8, 2010

Love Is

I Corinthians 13:4-8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."

Is Love

Love is patient. Love is patient
Love is patient!
Out of all the wonders love is from these
All its marvels that bring us to our knees
Why patient?
Is it the patience that we project when we are cross?
Is it the patience we speak of when we are at a loss?
For words, for reasons
During times that were seasoned
With trials, discomfort, the icks and ticks we go through when we're with each other
Our brother, sister, or lover?
Yes, that too.

But since we're talking about love
Let's look to the one above

God is love. Love is patient
Patience is waiting
God is patient. Love is waiting
For God's timing

Perfect love casts out all fear. It's clear
That to love like so requires more waiting than you know
For God's time, which is neither fast or slow
But it is a letting go
And letting God move through us, and thus
Love is patient

Love is patient
It's the first thing mentioned
Unexpected, but fitting
Because letting
God's love unceasing
Fill us to overflowing
Leads us to finding
What is
How to
Who to
And when to

-Neil Abellanosa

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Dracula's Ranunculus

Dracula's affinity for ranunculus bordered ridiculous
To the point of using calculus and parabolas to predict the bloom of the flower fabulous

Then Dracula's time came to give the ranunculus
To the lovely Ursulas who had his heart rapturous

But alas! The ranunculus were not in season crushing Dracula's reason

"So sorry. Indeed I am." were the words of Dracula as was his weird vernacular
Nonetheless Ursulas says, "Don't be ridiculous!"

And her smile was enough for Dracula to reason
That it needn't matter the season
Nor what the calculus and parabolas said when the flower fabulous would bloom

For Ursulas herself was the flower fabulous, the rapturous ranunculus that's forever in bloom.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Quick Ones | Pursuing Inspiration Instead of Waiting

"I understand but I don't want to."
To live a lie is far worse than to die with truth.
Nothing is what it seems until you take your mask off first.
Go now!
Time is finite until you go.

Forever is when the longest part of your day is the part you don't want to end.
It means moments move you instead of time.
It means you wish to expand your experiences rather than repeat them.
Forever means pursuing the day, allowing yourself and your growth to make time worth your time; for you, for yesterday, for tomorrow and today.
Forever means now.

Will you my heart be known?
Will you explain yourself to me?
Do you have any direction?
Is there a method to your madness?
Do you even consider me in your decisions?
Can you even make decisions? Isn't that my domain?
You only feel, ache, and long.
I can still have my say, do my will.
But without you, it's less than halfhearted.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I'll Be

penned on May 29, 2009

I need
I want someone pure
In the most sense of the word
Freed from the torment of the past
Sees the world and life for the beauty that they are
Despite the vandalism
Hopeful, faithful, patient
I'll be patient

She will be pure and wisely innocent
Knows the world and lithe with inner charisma
Yet firm against the masses
And their shallow current
I'll be faithful

I will be pure
Breaking free from my torments
Tasting the beauty and restoring the blemished
With wisdom
Agile yet sturdy
I'll be hopeful

-Neil Abellanosa

Monday, February 16, 2009

On Rules, Incentives, and Wisdom

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I am pleased to announce the launch of my business, SAKA fitness.
The website explains the basics of what it is:
Tell your friends!

Monday, February 9, 2009

On Creativity

Creativity seems elusive and like a rare creature we have to hunt down only to discover that it might be the wrong, though similar, creature. And we have caught impostors, or so we think. Our end product looked different from what we've been told it should. So we doubt and hesitate. Thus, some of us recluse to being satisfied with merely gawking upon this creature when we do find it in the wild, or marvel at the successful hunters who were either lucky or talented. At the thought of these hunters, we wonder ourselves if we have the talent. Is it inherent? Is is latent? Can it be learned? Earned? Or is it merely the luck of the draw, a gene to be born with or without?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

But God

This was a piece created for C3SF Easter 2008. It was written in the month of March 2008.

The choreography was done by Patricia Diaz, and Visual Effects were by Sam Crayne. I am so blessed to have worked with such amazing people who are even better friends.

But God

God, my God
Why have You forsaken me
I am buried in defeat
I can't sleep
I can't find peace
I can't smile
I can't love

Everyone loathes me
They laugh and point
And my back bleeds from the stabs
They mock You in front of me
And they sneer at my helplessness

Every part of my body is aching
Inside and out, it throbs
I've failed too much
A sinner, a failure
I am caged within myself
A sideshow attraction

I'm done
God, come rescue me
Don't let them finish me
Find me now
This is it, my rock bottom
I give it all up to You
Come save me
I put my life in Your hands
I am completely Yours
I'll die to my old self
I release control
I admit
I believe
I confess

I take a leap of faith
Yet brewing revelations

Emit glimmers of light

I am born again
Out of the ashes of my past God breathes new life
And I am renewed

Fully conscious and aware
I attempt to comprehend how my sins are as far as the East is from the West
But I am dumbfounded

I attempt to understand the fullness of God's grace that encircles me soothing old bruises
But I am speechless

I offer Him my broken heart
With secure and gentle hands
He accepts
And like a sudden spring rain I receive living water
Quenching my spirit

Now I walk with my Saviour
Eyes anew seeing the world like never before

My past comes to taunt me
But God has made me a new creation
The old is gone, the new has come
My flesh fights for indulgence
But God's Spirit gives life and the flesh
Counts for nothing
The enemy launches darts of lies
But God has given me the belt of truth, the shield of faith
And the authority to overcome the power of the enemy
Nothing will harm me

A haunting past
A sinful nature
And a deceitful enemy
Allowed for hell on earth
But God You have given us Your only Son
That whoever believes in Him will not die but have eternal life

Now I run the race in communion with You God
As my steps are guided by the Holy Spirit
I live a God-given abundant life
The joy of the Lord becomes my strength
As we go to make disciples of all nations
Teaching and baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit
I live a life in utmost adventure
Knowing I have submitted my will to Your perfect one

And when I look back at the death of my flesh
At the lowest point of my existence
I see
That my God, my God has not forsaken me
But You have answered me
And I will declare Your name and praise You
For You have not hidden Your face

I thought You didn't hear
But God You listened
I thought You didn't see
But God You witnessed
I thought You didn't care
But God You cried

Oh God, Your love freed the world
In Your love You gave me choice
And when I chose to turn away from You
You saved me through love
In Your Son, Jesus

When He hung on the cross bloodied and betrayed
The devil rejoiced for He thought the war was his
But God on the third day
But God on that glorious day
All this was possible for Jesus rose

He is risen
He is risen

-Neil Abellanosa

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

To Be Loved

To be loved like that
In that magical way
So special in its place
It demands better word play

I want

er word not so simple
Not so used
Something indescribable
Inspired by a muse

Whatever that love word is
I want it
I want it so I can give it
And live it
So I can say it
And believe it

To tell her
To whisper
But still I wonder

If I'll get it

I get livid
With the thought of my heart
Going frigid


My heart is kept warm
By the welcomed swarm
Of another love platonic
Keeping my life going
At supersonic
Past the sound of doubt
The yells of lies
And cries
Of hopelessness, of defeat
That may knock me
Off my feet
But I won't retreat

Yes, it's not from her
But it's from them
Fruits of my requiem
Gifts from God

She's coming

But until then
Love is love
Friends are friends
And God is love

-Neil Abellanosa

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Is tested again and again
Faithfulness fights
Against justice
Justice seeks and demands
An expectation
The proper reaping
For the sowing
No more
No less
Faithfulness is
Along with the notion of
"For better or worse"
Faithfulness is more than
Just a little faith
It's fullness of!

To travel to places uncharted
To venture into the unknown
One of fear's origins
To face something that's yet
To turn around and face you
To adventure is to be faithful
To fight is to be
Faithfulness is to

-Neil Abellanosa

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Light a fire deep inside me Lord
Glowing embers breathing, thriving, ever burning, ever warm
Holy Spirit wind blow
Stir up the luminescent gems within
Let the heat radiate unstoppable by walls... bodies... change.

penned 11.07.08

On Awareness

Awareness of ones actions or future actions is not a detterant.
The action is still decided and willed through a series of other filters.
The advantage of awareness is that it invites reason and coherency along for the ride.

penned 10.28.08
9:00 T-Line Train

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Word to the Down

You gotta bounce back when you feel glued to your bed
Bounce back, when books you're left with, are ones you've read
Time is on your side, convince it

You gotta stand up though everything's on top of you
Stand up, though you haven't got a clue on how to
You're taller than you think, smarter than you are, own it

You gotta walk on though you think you've been left behind
Walk on, though worries have left you almost blind
You're closer than you think, faster than you are, believe it

Life's not over, there's still plenty left
There's always a joy yet to be found, more steps to the ground
You are a joy to be found, the steps to someone's ground

You gotta dream on though you've had sleepless nights
Dream on, let them fly higher to the skies
Time is on your side, convince it
C'mon, do it

penned 10.19.08


Their beauty is inescapable
Their allure unstoppable
What does it mean to wait for the right time?

Maybe it means to wait on being captured by their allure
Maybe it means to wait on pursuing the allure
It seems to be the latter for it is only through the pursuing
That being captured yields to results, and becomes worth it

On Demand

When artists express their experiences, hurts, triumphs, ecstasy, pain, and loss, it moves people who at some time in their lives have experienced, are experiencing, and will experience similar circumstances.

When expressed at the time of experience, the product is in its most powerful emotionally because it tells of the actual feelings as they come, as they impact the artist. It's a live feed straight to the heart.

However, when the experience has passed and healing has happened or time has softened and/or buried the experience, the artists' expression changes. They now write of new ones or express the past in retrospect, which emotionally, is not as powerful. It has however, other appeals and pluses such as its capability to teach.

A problem arises when the expectation of viewers, listeners, readers, and the like, demand the same sort of expression that artist was able to express at the time of experience. The audience wants the same live-feed again, a logically improbable scenario.

The artist struggling and wanting to please, may resort to denying the healing, or recreating the past, knowing their expression is at its zenith with the live-feed.

As receivers, we are meant to not only appreciate the expression as it came, but also appreciate the change and progress of the artist. We should not demand the identical expression over and over. We should not pressure the artist to deny their healing and to "scratch the scab".

The beauty of art as an expression of the human condition is that there will always be new artists and new expressions of the ever-similar human condition. As receivers, there are always new expressions to discover. This healthy cycle can only add to the variety, freshness, and growth, of the art ecosystem.

So grow with your artist. Apart of together, just grow. And go forward with God.

penned 09.2008

On Freedom

Lack of responsibility is not true freedom
for freedom is the ultimate responsibility.


The field of clouds
Like a bed of cotton balls
Glowing with purples, pinks, violets, oranges
Reds and blues
As if incandescent and neon bulbs alight it from below
It forms a texture so inviting
It asks you gently, sincerely, to rest upon it
And like so, the heavens become your bed
Your place of rest

And while laying down on His green earth
In observation of this, you are engulfed
By two places of rest, all-encompassing
Nothing is unknown anymore
No need to fear
His creation triumphs
In bringing you peace
And it certainly passes your understanding

penned 09.30.08

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

"Lord be merciful to me,
Heal my soul for I have sinned against you."
- Psalm 41:4

Why do I rebel and disobey?
Lord help me lose myself.
I must love You first.
I want to love You first
But my flesh only loves itself and my spirit is weak.
Awaken my spirit, rise up within me.

penned 09.29.08

Your purposes are everlasting
Your ways immeasurable
Your love inescapable
Your fruits delightful

Lead me to Your path
It is exciting in itself
My walking it, makes it come to life
It also breathes life into me

penned 09.30.08
Love is patient...

Love waits... for God's timing
God's timing is Him moving through us
This requires a relinquishing of control on our part
This takes time
Thus, love is patient

Lord You are patient
You wait for us... without ceasing

"Love is patient", the first characteristic mentioned
Unexpected yet fitting
By waiting, we are letting God work
Waiting is not stagnant
Waiting is serving

penned 09.29.08


I am at the depths
Deep below where there is no light
The pressure is heavy

It is too far to swim up
And I am running out of air
My eyes hurt
And my head is about to implode
The bottom is death
And it is inviting
It is inviting me to look down and accept

It is my fault that I am here
It is my fault I am this deep
I need to be saved
I need to be lifted
Take me to the surface and breathe life into me

penned on 9.29.08

Dear Lord

I am in a pit of despair
I am loathed
I feel lies being said about me
Then again, I feel they are true

I know I have disobeyed You
Why won't my words have any meaning?
I've lost my word
I have to get it back
I have nothing without it
I can't even promise to You properly

penned on 9.16.08
O God, comfort our souls
This life without is met with rejection
We seek love in every corner, in every form of expression
Only to miss its very source, its genesis, originator, creator, designer, You

We have an inkling it's you all along and it never leaves
But testimonies, accounts, and experiences from others sometimes prevent us from exploring more
We are the expression of His love, which is culminated by giving us choice and His only Son.

penned on 8.09.08

Thoughts On Worry

Worrying with a scattered mind is like crossing troubled waters on a rope bridge one support short.

A scattered mind is like having puzzle pieces without the big picture.

Worrying is like going to a war unarmed.

A plan, a decision is to be armed. It's to have protection - preparation, anticipation.
So increase your chances... gain some leverage.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Give Up!

Give up! Give up. give up...

Every time we hear those words, we right away associate it with quitting. However, quitting and giving up are two completely different things.

Does giving up mean surrender? Yes,

Does giving up mean relinquishing control? Yes.

Does giving up mean quitting? No.

So what does it mean?

Let's look at the words, give... up.

Giving... up.

You know, there's too many words today that are misused to the point of redefining it. Someone uses the word the wrong way, and somehow it catches on. There are tons of examples for this, but that's another blog post.

So let's get back to those two words, give...up.

Give = 1) to place in the hands of... 2) to bestow... 3) to administer 4) to devote or apply completely... 5) to entrust to another... 6) to convey or offer...

Up = 1) In or to a higher position... 2) In or to an upright position... 3) completely and/or entirely...

THUS, as you can see giving up does not mean forgetting about it, or letting it go to trash, or failing, or most importantly, quitting.

It means, as the definitions suggest, to place in the hands of a higher position, to entrust something to a higher place, and to bestow and relinquish control to a higher position.

That my friends, is what giving up means. It means to give it to someone or something of a higher position... and that means God. Who else is higher than all your troubles, all your worries and problems? Who else has control amidst chaos, grace amidst transgressions, order amidst lawlessness, and love amidst abhorrence and evil? Only God.

So starting now, let's use this phrase the right way and spread the news!

Giving up means letting God take over. It means admitting that we can't do it alone by our own might. It means acknowledging that He has the better plan and purpose for our life. It's thanking, praising, and worshiping Him when trials come because we already have the victory in Him and all we have to do is stay faithful and strong to win the battle.

He'll never give us something we can't handle, but the key is how we handle it.

Only then will you experience true freedom. The freedom from the slave masters of this temporary world that we foolishly and overly concern ourselves with to the point of being bound.

An amazing friend once told me,

"God never gives you trials that you can't handle. And He allows them for you to realize that in the end, it's only Him that truly matters; that amidst all the madness, the best thing and the only thing to do is thank and praise Him. For some, this takes hitting rock bottom to realize which things truly matter, but the cool thing is, we get to pick our rock bottom."

She's right, all we gotta go is give up.

I'm out, PEACE

written 2006

... is patient

It's natural, unnatural

Yet altogether real

The science of attraction
Has advanced in our days,
Yet the chemistry of compatibility
Is still writing in caves

The elements may join seamlessly
Yet the spark is absent
The charges may fire repeatedly
Yet in union, resentment

We trust it like it's solid
Building, pounding
Yet it's only a shell
Without its core resounding

It creaks, hurts, and shatters
But with its core
It heals, mends, and flatters

Cryptic yet obvious
All guiding yet underestimated
Essential yet a choice

It's often blind, deaf, and even mute
Always it is, if there's nothing to fill it
For it is only a shell
But the core is the Spirit

-Neil Abellanosa
Spring - Summer 2007


I am here
Scrutinizing, analyzing
The order of my words
As if their placement or displacement
Will create a potent combination
Of a spell that will tell
Of the tale and confession
Of my heart that will set me apart
From the rest of the spell casters

But my spells aren't spells
But an overflowing river, going over,
Escaping its banks
And I try to direct it, reflect it
The right way
To irrigate, facilitate
The growth of our crop

So though I wear the robes of a mystic,
It's only because I am mystified
So though these words seem conjured,
It's only because I've been captured
So though I seem like I am floating,
It's only because I've been lifted

By your beauty
Your words
Your touch
Your grace
Your soul
Your spirit

And I am a farmer
Early rising in the dawn
Building aqueducts and banks
For the river was meant to grow.

-Neil Abellanosa

Spring - Summer 2007