Light a fire deep inside me Lord
Glowing embers breathing, thriving, ever burning, ever warm
Holy Spirit wind blow
Stir up the luminescent gems within
Let the heat radiate unstoppable by walls... bodies... change.

penned 11.07.08
Encounter

On Awareness

Awareness of ones actions or future actions is not a detterant.
The action is still decided and willed through a series of other filters.
The advantage of awareness is that it invites reason and coherency along for the ride.

penned 10.28.08
9:00 T-Line Train

A Word to the Down

You gotta bounce back when you feel glued to your bed
Bounce back, when books you're left with, are ones you've read
Time is on your side, convince it

You gotta stand up though everything's on top of you
Stand up, though you haven't got a clue on how to
You're taller than you think, smarter than you are, own it

You gotta walk on though you think you've been left behind
Walk on, though worries have left you almost blind
You're closer than you think, faster than you are, believe it

Life's not over, there's still plenty left
There's always a joy yet to be found, more steps to the ground
You are a joy to be found, the steps to someone's ground

You gotta dream on though you've had sleepless nights
Dream on, let them fly higher to the skies
Time is on your side, convince it
C'mon, do it


penned 10.19.08

Women

Women
Their beauty is inescapable
Their allure unstoppable
What does it mean to wait for the right time?

Maybe it means to wait on being captured by their allure
Maybe it means to wait on pursuing the allure
It seems to be the latter for it is only through the pursuing
That being captured yields to results, and becomes worth it

On Demand

When artists express their experiences, hurts, triumphs, ecstasy, pain, and loss, it moves people who at some time in their lives have experienced, are experiencing, and will experience similar circumstances.

When expressed at the time of experience, the product is in its most powerful emotionally because it tells of the actual feelings as they come, as they impact the artist. It's a live feed straight to the heart.

However, when the experience has passed and healing has happened or time has softened and/or buried the experience, the artists' expression changes. They now write of new ones or express the past in retrospect, which emotionally, is not as powerful. It has however, other appeals and pluses such as its capability to teach.

A problem arises when the expectation of viewers, listeners, readers, and the like, demand the same sort of expression that artist was able to express at the time of experience. The audience wants the same live-feed again, a logically improbable scenario.

The artist struggling and wanting to please, may resort to denying the healing, or recreating the past, knowing their expression is at its zenith with the live-feed.

As receivers, we are meant to not only appreciate the expression as it came, but also appreciate the change and progress of the artist. We should not demand the identical expression over and over. We should not pressure the artist to deny their healing and to "scratch the scab".

The beauty of art as an expression of the human condition is that there will always be new artists and new expressions of the ever-similar human condition. As receivers, there are always new expressions to discover. This healthy cycle can only add to the variety, freshness, and growth, of the art ecosystem.

So grow with your artist. Apart of together, just grow. And go forward with God.

penned 09.2008

On Freedom

Lack of responsibility is not true freedom
for freedom is the ultimate responsibility.

Fields

The field of clouds
Like a bed of cotton balls
Glowing with purples, pinks, violets, oranges
Reds and blues
As if incandescent and neon bulbs alight it from below
It forms a texture so inviting
It asks you gently, sincerely, to rest upon it
And like so, the heavens become your bed
Your place of rest

And while laying down on His green earth
In observation of this, you are engulfed
By two places of rest, all-encompassing
Nothing is unknown anymore
No need to fear
His creation triumphs
In bringing you peace
And it certainly passes your understanding


penned 09.30.08

"Lord be merciful to me,
Heal my soul for I have sinned against you."
- Psalm 41:4

Why do I rebel and disobey?
Lord help me lose myself.
I must love You first.
I want to love You first
But my flesh only loves itself and my spirit is weak.
Awaken my spirit, rise up within me.


penned 09.29.08




Your purposes are everlasting
Your ways immeasurable
Your love inescapable
Your fruits delightful

Lead me to Your path
It is exciting in itself
My walking it, makes it come to life
It also breathes life into me


penned 09.30.08

Love is patient...

Love waits... for God's timing
God's timing is Him moving through us
This requires a relinquishing of control on our part
This takes time
Thus, love is patient

Lord You are patient
You wait for us... without ceasing

"Love is patient", the first characteristic mentioned
Unexpected yet fitting
By waiting, we are letting God work
Waiting is not stagnant
Waiting is serving


penned 09.29.08

Depths

I am at the depths
Deep below where there is no light
The pressure is heavy

It is too far to swim up
And I am running out of air
My eyes hurt
And my head is about to implode
The bottom is death
And it is inviting
It is inviting me to look down and accept

It is my fault that I am here
It is my fault I am this deep
I need to be saved
I need to be lifted
Take me to the surface and breathe life into me



penned on 9.29.08

Dear Lord

I am in a pit of despair
I am loathed
I feel lies being said about me
Then again, I feel they are true

I know I have disobeyed You
Why won't my words have any meaning?
I've lost my word
I have to get it back
I have nothing without it
I can't even promise to You properly



penned on 9.16.08

O God, comfort our souls
This life without is met with rejection
We seek love in every corner, in every form of expression
Only to miss its very source, its genesis, originator, creator, designer, You

We have an inkling it's you all along and it never leaves
But testimonies, accounts, and experiences from others sometimes prevent us from exploring more
We are the expression of His love, which is culminated by giving us choice and His only Son.



penned on 8.09.08

Thoughts On Worry

Worrying with a scattered mind is like crossing troubled waters on a rope bridge one support short.

A scattered mind is like having puzzle pieces without the big picture.

Worrying is like going to a war unarmed.


A plan, a decision is to be armed. It's to have protection - preparation, anticipation.
So increase your chances... gain some leverage.

Give Up!

Give up! Give up. give up...

Every time we hear those words, we right away associate it with quitting. However, quitting and giving up are two completely different things.

Does giving up mean surrender? Yes,

Does giving up mean relinquishing control? Yes.

Does giving up mean quitting? No.

So what does it mean?

Let's look at the words, give... up.

Giving... up.

You know, there's too many words today that are misused to the point of redefining it. Someone uses the word the wrong way, and somehow it catches on. There are tons of examples for this, but that's another blog post.

So let's get back to those two words, give...up.

Give = 1) to place in the hands of... 2) to bestow... 3) to administer 4) to devote or apply completely... 5) to entrust to another... 6) to convey or offer... http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=give

Up = 1) In or to a higher position... 2) In or to an upright position... 3) completely and/or entirely... http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=up

THUS, as you can see giving up does not mean forgetting about it, or letting it go to trash, or failing, or most importantly, quitting.

It means, as the definitions suggest, to place in the hands of a higher position, to entrust something to a higher place, and to bestow and relinquish control to a higher position.

That my friends, is what giving up means. It means to give it to someone or something of a higher position... and that means God. Who else is higher than all your troubles, all your worries and problems? Who else has control amidst chaos, grace amidst transgressions, order amidst lawlessness, and love amidst abhorrence and evil? Only God.

So starting now, let's use this phrase the right way and spread the news!

Giving up means letting God take over. It means admitting that we can't do it alone by our own might. It means acknowledging that He has the better plan and purpose for our life. It's thanking, praising, and worshiping Him when trials come because we already have the victory in Him and all we have to do is stay faithful and strong to win the battle.

He'll never give us something we can't handle, but the key is how we handle it.

Only then will you experience true freedom. The freedom from the slave masters of this temporary world that we foolishly and overly concern ourselves with to the point of being bound.

An amazing friend once told me,

"God never gives you trials that you can't handle. And He allows them for you to realize that in the end, it's only Him that truly matters; that amidst all the madness, the best thing and the only thing to do is thank and praise Him. For some, this takes hitting rock bottom to realize which things truly matter, but the cool thing is, we get to pick our rock bottom."

She's right, all we gotta go is give up.

I'm out, PEACE

written 2006

... is patient

It's natural, unnatural
Yet altogether real

The science of attraction
Has advanced in our days,
Yet the chemistry of compatibility
Is still writing in caves

The elements may join seamlessly
Yet the spark is absent
The charges may fire repeatedly
Yet in union, resentment

We trust it like it's solid
Building, pounding
Yet it's only a shell
Without its core resounding

It creaks, hurts, and shatters
But with its core
It heals, mends, and flatters

Cryptic yet obvious
All guiding yet underestimated
Essential yet a choice

It's often blind, deaf, and even mute
Always it is, if there's nothing to fill it
For it is only a shell
But the core is the Spirit


-Neil Abellanosa
Spring - Summer 2007

Letter

I am here
Scrutinizing, analyzing
The order of my words
As if their placement or displacement
Will create a potent combination
Of a spell that will tell
Of the tale and confession
Of my heart that will set me apart
From the rest of the spell casters

But my spells aren't spells
But an overflowing river, going over,
Escaping its banks
And I try to direct it, reflect it
The right way
To irrigate, facilitate
The growth of our crop

So though I wear the robes of a mystic,
It's only because I am mystified
So though these words seem conjured,
It's only because I've been captured
So though I seem like I am floating,
It's only because I've been lifted

By your beauty
Your words
Your touch
Your grace
Your soul
Your spirit

And I am a farmer
Early rising in the dawn
Building aqueducts and banks
For the river was meant to grow.


-Neil Abellanosa
Spring - Summer 2007